Happy Monday?

 First of all, I wanted to start my post by saying THANK YOU MY FRIENDS!! I just love you guys, you know? I really hope you all had a wonderful Easter? I did do a little more binge/spit yesterday, but not so bad. I have gained my weight back, trying to PROVE that I am ok. That has really made me mad!! I have decided that I need to be way more strict...I am basically starting over. BUT "they" all are so "proud" of me. I can get my fat ass back on track. R u ready?? MY STATS ARE THE SAME 110 lbs!!!!!!!!! I am not going to dwell, though. Move on, right? So....I am still ashamed of myself!! BUT,  I am done bitching.
New topic: I had a job interview in front of a panel today. I was soooo nervous. I really hope I get this job AND they work around all my group fitness classes. The members are really on me about that, and I would just not be ok with giving them up!! Like today, I have burned 1619 calories!! I am back on track. I taught 2 spin classes and a weight lifting class. I have to sign off for the night. I will be back on tomorrow, and I will reply to all of you that sent me messages. Hugs to you all. Think Thin, and I WILL TOO. xoxo
  • Current Music
    watching TV

Saturday

 Today, I have been chew/spitting!! HORRIBLE-HORRIBLE ME. I hate when I do that. I just sometimes have to taste food...I am a loser today. Tomorrow is another day, though!! Happy Easter, and please stay strong. We can do it...Hugs
  • Current Mood
    crappy crappy

Friday

So happy Friday to you all. I just wanted to share my day with you..here it goes. First I taught a spin class at 6am, and then I worked the front desk till 830a. I did a little job searching early today, trying to get more hours. But I am having a hard time finding one that wants to work around all my group fitness classes!!! Cuz you know I have my priorities, LOL. I then went to eat lunch with my fitness boss to show that I am doing better....hmm...I know you have all done this right? I really showed her, I ate shrimp quesidillas(I dont know how to spell it). I promised her that I would come to her jam class at 530pm. WELL, You know where I was at 530?? I was locked inside the gate of my storage units,yes, true story! The funny thing is that the unit is behind the gym, but I couldnt get to her class. My code would not work to get me out, and the owner was out of town. I was locked in there for over an hour...the fire dept had to come open the gate. I know this is probably the most retarded story you have heard on here. That is me, always THE one. You have one in every group, well I am that one. My boss laughed her ass off, and even said she would only believe it coming from me! I am safely at home now..whew..what a day!! i will have to get my calories way low again to make up for eating. So anyway, I plan on having a very low calorie Easter. I hope you all have a great weekend, and a Happy Easter. Stay Strong. Hugs

  • Current Music
    My cat slurping water/no music

Thursday

I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL!!! I have been trying to hang in there. I know it has been a while, and I am sorry. I have been sooo depressed... I have stopped talking to everyone!! But then...here lately the people who see me daily have said enough, so I am happy they have left me alone. I am playing the "happy girl" role at work, so I dont lose what is left of my job!! I have gotten to teach more classes though, yay. 
I just want to say, though, I was almost in tears when I read my emails from you guys. THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who have shown me so much support. It is amazing the encouragement, friendship, and love that is truly felt from you all. So..I want to give some back by telling you how much I appreciate you all. Please hang in there day to day, and know that there are people that care, people that dont know you but are here to listen. People that do not judge you for who you are and what you do! I will try to keep it together and get post daily. STAY STRONG, HUGS TO YOU ALL

  • Current Mood
    grateful grateful

Saturday

 I am sorry I have been out for a few days...things were spiraling out of control here. To make a long story short: My husband has been lying to me, He has not only drained MY bank account, he left me in the negative numbers! He was busted when I decided to pay my bank a visit. He apparently activated a card I received in the mail. Everyone close to me wants me to divorce him, and he has been trying to manipulate me into staying married. NO ONE cares what I might want. The funny thing is...I dont know what I want. But, of course, I have control of what I EAT!!  So, Monday we are off to see a church counselor to see if this marriage can be saved. I am just wanting to make sure I don't make a wrong decision. 

So there it is...I hope you all are ok. Even thru the hard times, stay strong! I also want to say "THANK YOU" to all for your support and encouragement. You know who you are, Hugs. 


 
  • Current Music
    stepson playing guitar!!!!!

Tuesday

So, it seems that I am stuck at 110 lbs!!! I have been really cutting back the past few days!! I did lose half a lb, I know BIG WHOOP!! I have to teach two high cardio classes tonite, so I will burn 1000 or more calories. The past two days I have cut back tremendously!! I am really struggling with control here. It seems like my mom, husband, and everyone else in my life has a say about what I need to do, BUT ME. I just found out yesterday that my husband seriously messed up my bank account. I didnt even have any control over that. I am just venting here for a bit, I know...sorry. I am just so lost. I had to change my pin #, and hide it from him. It gets hard because he and my mom are two controlling people. I just sit in the backseat, and control what goes in my mouth!!! I just sit back and let them go..Does anyone else feel like this??! Sorry to be a downer today, I hope you are all staying strong. Hugs to all my friends

  • Current Music
    Courageous

Sunday

What's up everybody? I hope you have all had a great weekend. I just got home from teaching a weight lifting class. I can't wait to weigh in the morning to see how I did over the weekend!! I have had a horrible weekend, but I hope to have least lost some weight thru it all!!!! I hope you all start the week with strength. You all hang in there, we are in this together...Hugs

  • Current Mood
    content content

Saturday

I am sorry I skipped Friday. It was not a good day. Today, though, is a whole new day. I do not have to teach today, so NO FOOD!! That is my plan for today and tomorrow. I will stay below 500 cals Monday. I have to teach spin class. I woke up with bad sinuses today, so my head is hurting. I am about to drink a diet RC and go to sleep for a bit. I hope you all have a great weekend, and stay strong. If you are fasting as well, drop me a line. I would love the support. I am here for you as well, drop me a line if you need my support!! Hugs

  • Current Mood
    sick sick

thursday

 It is FREEZING today. Ice and sleet!! Cant go anywhere, and my group fit classes have been cancelled. I usually weigh every morning, but I had to teach at 6am so I didnt. That is ok since I had that weird binge/spit fest Wenesday!!! I am scared to know....I dont know how many calories still get consumed even though it is been spit out. Oh well, I am not doing THAT today. I hoope when I step on the scale in the morning, I will have a loss. So, anyway, I hope everyone is having a good day. Have a good weekend. It looks like we will be iced in thru tomorrow morning. Stay Strong, and Think Thin Always. Hugs
  • Current Mood
    cold cold

11b!!!!!!

Ok, so I have only lost 1lb since Saturday!! But at least is was not a gain, right?? I didnt do so good yesterday. I taught 3 group fitness classes, and then had carbs last night. It was horrifying, but it is over. I got some great thinspo today, and I am back on track. I taught 3 classes today, I burned 1821 calories. My intake was below 400 cals today. My hours are getting cut at work, but I am teaching more classes to make up for it hopefully. That will actually work out to my benefit!!! I love it...
I hope you all are ok today. I would love to hear from you, I feel so alone. My friends and co workers are not as fun to be with these days. My class participants are great, though. So, I guess I am done with my rambling....Please Stay Strong, and Think Thin!! Hugs to all!

  • Current Music
    Watching TV